Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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