does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
