Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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