Everything about him screamed your future.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
