Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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