nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
