I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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