He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
