But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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