I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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