The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
