its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
