no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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