Sry I called you an 8
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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