i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
