Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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