Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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