i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My pussy is not your playground.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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