He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
