Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
