Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
