Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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