happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
