I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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