my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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