Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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