I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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