Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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