The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
