Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
