She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
