it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.