I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".