She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?