Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
