I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
