She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
