thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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