you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
