so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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