i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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