I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
