People in love make me want to vomit
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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