You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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