Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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