New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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