Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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