New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
