Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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