Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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