"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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