Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
