Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
