Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
