From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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