Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
