I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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