if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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