I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
