She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
