Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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