I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
