So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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