Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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