Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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