is wine microwaveable?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
