i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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