I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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