What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
