And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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