In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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